“From the ashes, phoenix will rise” – Her
For more background and context about this post, go to From the Fallen Ashes, Phoenix Will Rise
“Have you heard of functional medicine?”, asked the person I had just met on a dating app.
“No, what’s that?”, I asked.
“It’s a form of therapy. You know how cardiologists only treat ailments of the heart, an orthopeodic only looks at bones, etc. A person who performs functional medicine focuses on the entire body.
Another option is Craniosacral Therapy. Here, let me send out details of two of my friends.”
I was pleasantly surprised by this stranger. This was our first video call and she was already advicing me on what I could do to live a healthier life.
“..and I meditate and practice Heart Rhythm Meditation. Meditation changed me and all these techniques have helped me heal my body.”
Ignore it… Ignore it… She just meditates, everyone medidates. It doesn’t mean anything – my protective brain told me.
“And now I have developed a daily practice and try to align with my heart rhythm.”
Okay fine. Ask her.
“Do… Are you aware of something called Spiritual Emergence or Spiritual Awakening?”, I asked hesistantly.
“I haven’t heard of emergence but, yes, I have some experience with awakening. Why?”
“It just sounded like you did. I do too.” Interesting.
We continued to speak about different topics for another half hour. Towards the end, she said, “I was hurting when it started. Someone had left and it was just painful. That’s when I met the craniosacral therapists and also got introduced to Heart Rhythm Meditation.”
Noooooooo. It can’t be. It’s okay. Many people have these experiences. Fine, I’ll ask – my internal conflict chimed in
“Can you tell me more about your experience with this person?”
After listening to her for a few minutes, I had no other option but to ask her, “Would you like to meet? I think we have a lot to discuss.”
“Yes, please. When?”
Our first meeting turned into spending an entire evening together. We just opened up to each other about every crazy experience that we’ve had in the past few years. In the next few days, we shared more with each other than we had shared with anyone in the past, opening up about things that neither of us had felt comfortable talking about openly. It was like we had finally found someone who could understand the depth of shock, pain, and love that we had experienced. She had her awakening a year before I did and it had been as crazy as mine.
“You should really try functional medicine or CST.”
“Okay, I’ll try.”
For the past few months, I had been searching for someone who practices Somatic Experiencing Therapy – a type of alternative therapy that works with the body to release trapped emotions/traumas that are too intense for a person to otherwise process. I had been unsuccessful in my search so far. I had found some therapists but hadn’t felt like going back the second time. Since my search for a Somatic Experiencing Therapist had proved to be in vain, I took her up on her suggestion.
I looked up both her friends and decided to reach out to the one I felt closer to. In my first call with her friend, I asked the therapist about her methodology, her experience working with people suffering from PTSD, and her knowledge about Spiritual Emergence. She checked all the boxes. But, there was more. She knew Reiki (I am trained in it) and Somatic Experiencing Therapy. I booked my appointment for the next day.
The first time I entered her office, I was greeted with a hug. She was so kind that my body immediately felt at ease. However, my brain went into a fog. I looked at her and in my “third” eye saw a green aura around her.
That’s new, I thought to myself.
My first session was nothing miraculous but it was peaceful. I had an emotional release that weekend and knew that I had to go back. I called up my ex and told her about my experience.
“I am so happy for you. Looks like this is a good medium for you and you had been searching for such a therapist for a while. I am glad that you finally found someone.”
“Yes. There is just one thing…”
“What?”
“I feel like I know her. I don’t know from where but I just have this feeling that I know her from somewhere.”
“Who? The therapist or this girl?”
“The therapist.”
“Have you met her before?”
“No.”
“Interesting. Will you go back?”
“Yes. My brain went into a fog after I entered her room. The session was helpful. I don’t know, I just feel like I know her.”
“I trust you. You’ll know.”
“Ya.”
On my next visit, I told my therapist how I had been feeling after the first session. In her room, however, I ended up having the same experience that I had the first time I was there. My body was at ease but my mind had gone into a fog. We had our second session which was even more impactful than the first. In this session, I had visions and communicated the same to my therapist. She guided me through those visions and I ended up having my first somatic release.
After the session, we sat down to chat.
“So how are you feeling?”, she asked.
“I am feeling good. Tell me something, are you a Reiki Master?”
“Yes, I am. How did you know?”
“Your hands get really warm during the session. I am certified in Reiki therapy so maybe that makes it easier for me to identify. You know, with my Reiki teacher, I can’t be in the same room with him for a longer duration. I start to feel all this energy and I have to take a break. I feel a lot of energy from you too.”
“That’s because you’re an empath. You feel other people’s energy and emotions even if they are not aware of it themselves. It’s a gift.”
“It is and is also tough especially when they are not aware of what they’re feeling or don’t want to accept it. Can I tell you something?”
“Yes, please.”
“I feel like I know you from somewhere. Have we met before?”
“I don’t think so. Not physically at least. What do you feel?”
“This is going to sound weird but the first time I met you, I had this vision of you just being surrounded by a green aura. And ever since our last session, I kept feeling like I’d met you somewhere. I just can’t… SHIT.”, my mouth fell open.
“What? What do you remember? Tell me?”
“You’re Her!”
“Who?”
“Last year when I had my awakening, there was a night when I felt like I was about to die. In my helpless state, I had asked for help from someone, anyone who could help. That night, I had a vision of someone surrounded by green light. She supported me and guided me at the time. It was because of her that I survived. I had felt so much love, unconditional love.
You look like her.”
“Did she tell you anything else?”
“Just that she has always been with me. And that she would soon meet me.”, I was still looking at her with wide eyes.
“Looks like a part of my soul was with you during your awakening”, she exclaimed with a broad smile on her face.
“Yes”, I said still shocked. “She was my guide at a time when I desperately needed help. She was the one I held onto and the only one I trusted when it was all happening. And now your physical self… Shit”, I again felt goosebumps.
“And now I am quite literally guiding you. Wow! I just got goosebumps.”, she exclaimed, equally surprised.
“Shit.”
“Shit.”
“Do you believe me?”
“Of course I do. I don’t know how any of this works either but I have felt a connection with you ever since you walked into this room. I didn’t know what it was. I don’t see things like you do. You have the gift of sight and empathy. I feel and hear sometimes. And I felt you.”
“I can’t believe that I am finally meeting you.”
“You are. You know I had been thinking about why I suddenly started this practice. I had been thinking about it for a while but due to certain circumstances, I could not make it happen. And, then, I opened this practice just a month earlier. I was on leave and had just come back when you called. I had been wondering to myself, why now. I guess now I know why.”
And that’s how after almost two years after my awakening, I met the human who had acted as my guide without meeting me in person. I finally met Her. And she’s as awesome a human being as she’s a guide.
I had written the original blog with this title as a way to let out my truth and unburden myself when my experiences had first started. It was a way for me to put my experience on paper with the hope that something will somehow make sense. Almost two years have passed, and my experiences have continued albeit the intensity has reduced. Either that or I have found a way to manage them better. At the time when I wrote the original blog, I hadn’t imagined that a day would come for me to write about that experience again. Well, feels like that day is today.
She is real and she is here 🙂
Musings 